How To Be A Sister

There will always be that moment when you'll finally realize that what you're doing is wrong and that it's time to change.

I have a sister. She's three years younger than me. All my life, I know, I have never been a good sister to her. She always tell me, "Buti pa sa ibang tao, mabait ka. Sa akin, hindi." She's right. I was always mad at her. I can't trace why I treat her so rude. In fact, I can still remember how happy I am when I first saw her...our bunso.

We grew almost apart. I rarely talk to her and I don't usually help her with her academic requirements. Nevertheless, she was always there for me. Whatever help I needed  from her and whatever favor I asked, she's willing to give. She was always the better sister and I really admire her for being so nice to me even though I don't reciprocate the kindness.

Lately, our family has been through something. It was painful and hard for everyone but we all stayed strong. One weekend I went home and that was when I knew about what happened. That moment made me realize that I was so wrong, that I was so bad. With that, I decided to change. My sister needs me. We're only two and she never had the "Ate" that she should have. I know it is too late to realize these things. We were both grown ups. I am not even a teen anymore but I believe I still have a chance. Now that I know that I should change, I'll do my best to be the best sister to her because I should be and I want to be.

I don't know how to be a sister to her. Sad to say, I know how to be to other people. Though that is the case, I am still trying. From simple exchange of text messages which has been frequent since I last went home, to letting her borrow my dress for her upcoming graduation ball, to many more things that I will do for her.

I missed a lot of things growing up. I have been so selfish for the attention, love and care. I have been so focused learning things in school that I forgot to learn how to be a sister...a good sister. We still have the rest of our lives to be sisters. I still have the time to make her feel that she has an "Ate" who's there beside her whatever might happen.

It is not her birthday today but to end this post, I made a message for her. For the first time, I opened up my heart for her and I hope she reads this.

To my sister, Shaira:

Sorry. I know that I have never been a sister to you. I regret that it took so many years before I realized that I should be.

I admire you for being there for Tatay and Nanay at times like these. Stay strong for them. Do not worry about what's happening, we'll get through this. Keep on praying. Everything will be alright.

Little sis, I'll do my best to be a good Ate to you. Know that if you need help, I am here. I'll be willing to help you. Congratulations on your graduation! I wish you all the best in College. Engineering is really hard but I believe in you. There's nothing you can't do.

I love you.

Yours truly,

Ate May